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Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together/Transcript
(Mom) So you really don't know what day it is? (Dad)I told you, it's Thursday. It is more than just another ursday, Lawrence. Then it must be... the day I realized how cute you are when you're angry? I'm going to get my hair done. I'll be back at 2:00. Maybe you can figure it out before I get home. Oh, I wonder what all the fuss is about. Ahem. Huh? June 15th. It's your wedding anniversary! Ooh! Egads! Wait, wait! I can fix this! Gee, Candace, isn't this a lot of fuss to make over a date? Are you kidding? Anniversaries are very important. Take June, for example. On the 3rd, Jeremy spoke to me for the first time back in the 7th grade. May 6th, he brushed up against me in the hall. Oh, and April 3rd - that's the day he laughed so hard, milk came out of his nose! (laughs) He looked so cute. Hey, Dad, can we help? Well, I'm afraid not, unless you can perform miracles. What's your budget? Tell, me boys, what would you get a special woman on her anniversary? Oh, please! Asking two boys for romantic advice? Now that's just pathetic. Don't you and Mom have any cherished memories? Oh, yes. I've got just the thing in here. He keeps his treasured memories in a toolbox. Your mother's favorite band. Love Handel. (♪ rock ballad) I bought us tickets to their farewell concert. Oh, we were a handsome, stylish couple back in those days. So which lucky couple out there will be caught in our flamin' hot spotlight of love? I'd never so much as held your mother's hand, but that night, I made my move. Well, don't just stand there, man. Kiss her. (crowd cheering) ♪ You snuck your way right into my heart ♪ Truly that was an evening I will never, ever forget. But you did forget, didn't you? (groans) And Love Handel broke up years ago. Some things can never be recaptured. That's it. I know what we're gonna do today. We're gonna make it their best anniversary ever. Hey, where's Perry? Ah, there you are, Agent P. We've learned some alarming information. Several suspicious items have been purchased by the Doofenshmirtz Corporation. They include an industrial-grade air compressor, 20 canisters of helium oxide and 400 pounds of fireworks. Get right on it. ♪ Perry ♪ (♪ rock ballad) (announcer) For a moment, their ballad, "Snuck Your Way Into My Heart," snuck its way to number one and stayed there for 11 consecutive minutes. But whatever happened to Love Handel? The band was riding high, but tastes were changing, and Love Handel found itself playing smaller and smaller venues. Pressures from a dwindling fan base caused infighting among the band members. Lines were drawn. Then lines were crossed. Eventually the lines were erased, and the piece of paper crumpled up and thrown away. And Love Handel was no more. Years later, Love Handel's music continues to warm the hearts of an appreciative public. Bass player Bobbi Fabulous now runs a trendy hair salon, drummer Swampy works quietly at the public library, and only lead singer Danny is still a player in the music industry. I've seen that sign. It's down on Main Street. We'll get him to sing for Mom! Ready, team? Team? Oh, no, I am not getting involved in one of your crazy schemes. Come on, Candace. For true love. (groans) Candace, you keep Mom away from the house. We'll go get Danny. Ooh. "Love On the Run. Romantic solutions for every occasion." Hey, Dad, we're gonna throw a rock concert in the backyard, OK? Yes. Well, be careful. Come on, Ferb. (cell phone rings) Oh, hey, Stacy. I can't talk right now. My brothers and I are reforming Love Handel for a concert in our backyard. Love Handel? That's my mother's favorite band! (phone beeps) Hey, Mom, did you know Love Handel is reforming? Love Handel? Love Handel? Love Handel? Love Handel? ♪ Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Self Storage ♪ (record needle scratches) (gasps) Perry the Platypus. Quick, could you hand me that staple gun right over there? Thank you. Ahh... So what do you think? It's for my daughter Vanessa's birthday. I try to throw her a party every year. I know we usually go about our daily battle of good versus evil, but instead, could you maybe help me set up the party for my little girl? Please? ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ Danny's Music Shop. Ferb, this looks like the place. (♪ strumming) No. No. No. No. No. This is a rock-'n'-roll guitar for rock-'n'-roll music. Whatever. OK, run. The power of rock too scary for you. I see. Uh, you must be Danny of Love Handel, right? Always an honor to be recognized by my fans. Hey, aren't you a little young to be fans of Love Handel? Yes, we are, but our parents aren't. Don't you think you were a little tough on that guy? Oh, he'll be back.... when the spirit calls him! Wow, you sure are passionate about rock-'n'-roll. Well, it's only my life. Sit down. I'll tell you a little story. (♪ blues intro) ♪ When I was a boy down in South Illinois ♪ I heard a man playing blues Oh, what a wonderful noise ♪ He had an old guitar but not a doar to his name ♪ Makin' music so sad, but he was happy just the same ♪ He gave me a wink and said, "Son, let me share the news ♪ If you want a happy life you gotta learn to sing the blues ♪ I asked my daddy for a guitar, oh, I begged and I pled ♪ I said I wanted to play the blues, and he just nodded his head ♪ Daddy said when he was my age boogie-woogie was the thing ♪ Just take the blues, throw out your hip and add a little swing ♪ Music has the power that without it he'd have sworn ♪ That he'd never have met my mom and I'd never been born (♪ psychedelic rock) So what's this? This is psychedelia. It's where the guitar solo came from. No, I mean, what's with all the colors? I have no idea. (♪ funk) ♪ Ha! I kept learnin' all the powers my guitar had ♪ I made it go wakka-wakka till it was so good, it was bad ♪ Just make a face and slap that bass and make that rhythm bump ♪ But this is just the blues but in a way that makes you wanna shake your rump ♪ I can make you clap your hands ♪ I can make you get up and dance ♪ If you wanna shake your booty, my friend, you gotta give the funk a chance (♪ metal) ♪ Metal! ♪ Pound your fist in the air ♪ Metal! ♪ Bang your head full of hair ♪ It's crunchy and it's nasty, full of bad attitude ♪ Your parents will think you're crazy, your neighbors will think you're rude ♪ Believe it or not, it's all the blues again ♪ You just add a little fuzz and turn your amp up to 10 ♪ Music has the power to change your life forever ♪ (♪ solo) Wow! Shuh! Thank you, thank you. You know, our parents fell in love at one of your concerts. See? Music does change lives. Well, how'd you like to sing for our parents' wedding anniversary? That'd be righteous, dude, but good luck getting the other guys. Who can resist the power of rock-'n'-roll? Love Handel reunion. Rock on, little dudes. The spirit of rock-'n'-roll has called out to me! I knew it. That'll be $1,800. Oh, thank goodness you're here. Love On the Run at your service, my friend. So, what did you forget today? (inhales) Anniversary. Ooh, the big one. ♪ It's your anniversary... That's your Love-O-Gram. I'll get the rest of your stuff out of the truck. Ooh, that was exhausting. Ah. I have one last surprise for our lovely guest. This will be the grand finale of Vanessa's party - the world's largest firecracker! All we need now is a victim to be tied to the rocket so they'll explode up in the sky in a grand display! So, here's the awkward part. Uh... And when I say "awkward," I mean for you, not so much for me. (Mom)So I wonder what new look Bobbi has envisioned for me this time. You know, he was in my favorite band - Love Handel. Love Handel? He doesn't like anyone to talk about it, though, (cell phone rings) so don't bring it up. Uh, I gotta take this. (whispers)How's it going? We got Danny. Now we're gonna convince Bobbi Fabulous. And if we can't, well, Ferb's got a backup plan. Wait. Bobbi Fabulous is Mom's hairdresser. Where are you right now? Walking in the front door of Bobbi's salon. Oh. You doofuses! Mom's gonna see you and wonder what you're up to! You gotta keep Mom distracted while we talk to Bobbi. Say, Mom, maybe we should get you ready for Bobby. Candace, what are you doing? You look like you need some conditioner! Candace! Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! Do you have an appointment? Uh, no. We're here to see Bobby. You know, the bass player from the band Love Handel. (all gasp) (muffled shouting) ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ Fabiana, who are these little people? I don't know, sir. You're a mess. And you... Feudal Europe is so last month. We're trying to get Love Handel back together. Oh, for heaven's sake, talk to the hand. Secretly I'm very lonely. You see, the first time my dad kissed my mom was at a Love Handel concert. And it's their anniversary - B to the O-R-I-N-G. Not yet, Ferb. Anyway, you don't need me. I just play bass in the background. Nobody even remembers me. Are kidding? ♪ I don't need to tell you what you already know ♪ You're the one with style, you're the whole darn show ♪ The other guys play their instruments fine, but next to you their looks are a crime Candace! Hot towel! ♪ Well, they say true beauty, it comes from within ♪ But you have to be comfortable in your own skin ♪ So I exfoliate with this exotic cream ♪ Just look at me, I look like a dream You have to admit, he looks pretty darn good. Candace, what is going on? Dry cycle. ♪ You're the one Yes, you're the star ♪ We need you back on bass guitar ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You're the one we all can see It's all about you ♪ It's all about me ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You know, no two people are like each other ♪ So don't be a look-alike copying another ♪ Unless, of course, you're copying me ♪ 'Cause that gives you individuality ♪ Nice 'do, but back to the matter at hand ♪ So what do you say, are you back in the band? ♪ Well, maybe if I can find my old leather ♪ Dude, we're gettin' the band back together ♪ You're the one who sets the bar ♪ The hairdo king, the fashion czar ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You're fabulous ♪ Oh, I'm fabulous ♪ You're the one we all can see It's all about you ♪ It's all about me ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ You're fabulous ♪ I'm fabulous ♪ May we take that as a yes? Hello? Isabella? Hey, Phineas. What's up? Guess what band's getting back together. Love Handel? Uh, yeah. How'd you know? It was the lead story on the 5:00 news. Let me guess. You guys need a stage, right? Yeah. Can you help us out? We're already on it. Who would have thought that a drummer from a rock-'n'-roll band would end up in a place so quiet? Say, could it be? Pardon me. Would your name be Swampy, ex-drummer for the band Love Handel? That, my friend, was a past life. The name's Sherman. Why you asking? Because they're reforming for one night only. It's a celebration of our parents' anniversary. Well, that sounds charming, boys, but I haven't played drums since the accident. Fell asleep in a metronome factory. When I awoke, I had completely lost my sense of rhythm. I've been hanging out here ever since. (rhythmic stamping) ♪ So you're saying that you don't have rhythm ♪ But listen what you're doing right there ♪ With that stamp and a book, you got a real nice hook ♪ Sounds to me like you got rhythm to spare ♪ I have no idea what you're talkin' about ♪ I've got as much rhythm as that chair ♪ What happened to me was a tragedy ♪ But I don't have to be a millionaire ♪ Look, I got a sweet deal goin' on here ♪ I got all the books that I can read ♪ All these sweet old ladies and this carpet from the '80s ♪ What more could a librarian need? Shh! ♪ Besides, I ain't got rhythm ♪ No, I ain't got rhythm ♪ Said I ain't got rhythm ♪ I ain't got rhythm ♪ You're kiddin' me, right? You're kiddin' me ♪ Don't you see what you were doin' right then? ♪ That's a wicked groove you were startin' to move ♪ Mister, you've got rhythm times ten ♪ I think perhaps that you're not listenin' ♪ I find it tedious to repeat ♪ It's no big crime, I just can't keep time ♪ I'm telling ya, I lost the beat ♪ I don't need my face on T-shirts ♪ Or hit a power chord guitar ♪ They were screamin' my name I guess it's a shame, but I don't need to be a rock star ♪ Besides, I ain't got rhythm ♪ No, I ain't got rhythm ♪ Said I ain't got rhythm ♪ I ain't got rhythm ♪ I ain't got rhythm ♪ Sounds like rhythm to me ♪ No, I ain't got rhythm ♪ Seems like they all agree ♪ Ain't got rhythm ♪ But you're laying down some funky syncopation ♪ I ain't got rhythm ♪ But you got that beat ♪ No, I ain't got rhythm ♪ Look at them, they're stomping their feet ♪ Said I ain't got rhythm ♪ It's time for you to rock ♪ A brand-new generation ♪ Brand-new generation ♪ Gonna rock a brand-new generation ♪ Because I ain't got rhythm (woman sighs) Would you just go join the band? ♪ Ain't got rhythm H-Hey! ♪ Ain't got rhythm Hey, look! ♪ Ain't got rhythm Ain't got rhythm ♪ (shouting indistinctly) Hey, I got rhythm! No, that's not it. I n't know why you're making me do this, Candace. I mean, when do I ever dress this fancy anyways? So how you ladies doing in here? Great. But we need to keep looking. Oh! Well, we certainly have plenty of dresses for you to try on. And we have plenty of time. (groans)Candace! OK, now let's see. "Lead the way for the lovely lady "with an elegant wave of your hand. "For you and only you, insert your name here..." Oh, thanks for the light. Hey! No, no, wait! No, no, help me put it out! Do something! (groans) Well, that hardly ever happens. Oh, well, so much for that. I guess it's not a total loss. I mean, this is still presentable, right? Eh. Hey, Dad, we're back. So I hear it's your anni-- Oh, please, please, stop. Nobody ever lets me finish my number. That's it. Call me when my ride's here. There's lasagna in the fridge Thank you! Oh, boys, it's really hopeless. Fear not, Daddy-O. We got you covered. Hit it, Ferb. Love Handel? Surprise, baby girl! Happy sweet 16th birthday, my little Vanessa! Oh! Not again! Well, come on in, come on in. Check the place out. I decorated it all myself. Well, mostly. Wait till you see this. Wait right there. Please stop. And now, without further ado, the grand finale! What, a big firecracker? Oh, no. Perry the Platypus tied to a big firecracker. Together we will launch our nemesis into the sky! You mean your nemesis! I took the liberty of going through your address book and inviting all your little friends, including a nice fella named Johnny. He had hearts by his name. I think I know what that means. You did what? I don't want them to see this! I'm a teenager. This... this is for a little girl. Don't you know me at all? I have to admit, I never thought I'd wear this stuff again. Ooh, look. Sorry, folks. Not gonna happen. Dude, is that the cake from the trash? What? You can't let good cake go to waste. Looks like it all went to waste to me. Watch it, Mr. Tease and Curl. This is exactly the kind of slovenly behavior that ruined Love Handel. No, it was infighting due to pressure from a dwindling fan base. What are you talking about? It was in that special. You saw that too? Did I look fat? I thought I looked fat. That's it. This is ridiculous. I'm out of here. No, wait. You can't go. Mom's not back. What about your fans? Phineas, I admire your optimism, but besides your dad, be honest. What fans? (crowd cheering) (cheering continues) (Danny)Whoa. She doesn't like the party. I can't believe I failed again. Well, at least I can watch you explode. Hey, that's not fair! Well, then have a taste of my ray gun, Perry the Platypus! Take that! And that! Help me, Vanessa! Stay still, you obnoxious - Aah! Perry the Platypus, wait - My hand is stuck in here. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait, don't go anywhere. (crowd cheering) Sorry, Phineas, my friend, but we gotta go on now, or we're gonnaave a serious fashion metal riot on our hands. No, no, you can't start without Linda. Oh, what? Look, it's Mom! What are all these people doing on our street? Hey! Candace. Honey, what's going on here? Come on, Dad. All right, boys, let's blow the roof off this place. No! It's going to blow the roof off this place! One, two, three, four! (♪ rock ballad) Aah! Linda! Linda, darling. ♪ I should have known ♪ From how I felt when we were together Linda, where are you? ♪ And even more when we were apart Is that Love Handel? ♪ You tiptoed in ♪ And you got under my skin ♪ You snuck your way right into my heart (gasps) Wow. Whoa, this is, like, the coolest-looking party ever. Hey, Vanessa. Did you do all this yourself? Well, actually, my dad put it together... with some help from Perry the Platypus. Thank you, Perry the Platypus! (crowd cheering) Did you do all this for me? Well, I had a little help. Prepare for live feed to screen, and wipe to source. ♪ I've put up barriers to shield my emotions ♪ A wall that you could never break apart ♪ But like a ninja of love ♪ Rappelling down from above ♪ You snuck your way right into my heart ♪ My heart That's my ma. ♪ Oh, yeah (fireworks bursting) Well, don't just stand there. Kiss her. Happy anniversary, darling. (crowd cheering) (Danny)Come on, everybody, let me hear ya! ♪ Na, na ♪ Na, na-na, na-na... Hey, Vanessa, is that your dad up on the rocket? He'll be okay. He blows up all the time. Well, he sure did a cool job with this party. Yeah. Yeah, I guess he did. Thanks, Dad. You finally got one right. Curse you, Perry the Plat-- Wait, is that Love Handel? (♪ guitar) Aaah! (thud) Good night, Tri-state area! ♪ If you're feeling lost down in your soul ♪ If you need a little something to make you feel whole ♪ Just remember who you were when youere in control ♪ Just get together with some friends and play some rock-'n'-roll ♪ Music makes us better Brings us together ♪ As we get back that spirit we stole ♪ Music makes us better Brings us together ♪ And I owe my life to rock-'n'-roll ♪